don't think i have ever felt like this before. i can tell that everyone is sick of me because just being in my presence is getting everyone else down. i look like i have come back from the dead. seriously. my face has gone completely white and i have huge red bags under my eyes. i promised myself i wouldn't do this. i kind of hope you are feeling the same too. although that sounds really horrible because i care about you more than anything, i would feel like i meant absolutely nothing to you if you weren't upset. i hope we can carry on how we said we would on the phone last night, i would love that so so much! i really don't know why i am writing all this crap. i suppose i'm just worried to say it to your face so i need to get it out somewhere..